snowtop | 001. (v2) [audio + commentlog/open]

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001. (v2) [audio + commentlog/open]

A...Again?

[Xanth lets out a hollow, bitter laugh.]

I... n-no, you, you have to be k--kidding. I-I already d--did this. M-My world was... a-already gone. Th--The End took it. K-K'lai, a-and Grams, they... th-they were... already gone.

[He takes in a shuddering breath. His chest tightens, his voice cracks.]

N--Now you say it... it's all g-gone? Unmade? D--Didn't ev--even-- h-happen? How!? I-- I lived that! It-- it can't-- not again--

[There's a small gasp, like a prelude to a sob, but then Xanth slams the book shut.

Xanth takes his record, takes his key, and immediately sets out into the Keep. He's tired, he's so fucking tired, but he has to know if anyone else got snatched into this mess too.]

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Me too! But I haven't been able to find any here.

[She looks at her shoes. Yes, she went looking for ice cream.]

Do they have ice-cream in castles like this?

[Bingo. But to her question, Xanth shakes his head.]

N...No. A-And I don't... know h-how to m--make it, eith--either.

[But he's sure it can be done. And here, Xanth clears his throat and his smile fades into a frown.]

B-But, um. Th-this place is prob--probably not a n-normal castle. At-- at all.

[If it's anything like the Elegante, it's got all sorts of anachronisms, strange features, and dangers. But Xanth reluctant to bring the mood down, smiles again.]

S-So... it m-might!

[She tries to catch his eye again but ends up just shooting him a curious look.]

What do you mean? You said there were castles like this on your world.

I mean, the tattoos aren't normal and it has a fridge...

[She's gotten the feeling that fridges aren't normal.]

[Not for castles, at any rate. Xanth chews his lip - how, exactly, does he explain this?]

W-Well, uh. Th--there were. A-Are. B-But... a-a while ago, I-- I went-- s-somewhere e-else.

[Unable to keep still and unsure of what to do with his hands, Xanth grips the elbow of his right arm.]

It... i-it was... k-kind of l-like here. W-With people from-- from d-different worlds, I-- I m-mean. It was-- a-- a big ship, but... n-not a n-normal one.

S-So, this... th-this castle? P-Probably not n--normal.

[Kairi purses her lips. That doesn't make much sense to her. It is strange that there are so many different cross-roads worlds out there, with people sheltering from the destruction. But it shouldn't surprise her. Traverse Town had been small and there hadn't been many people there. But it had also been pretty normal.]

I've been to a world like this before too.

Heh, a place for people who's world have disappeared, I mean, people from all kinds of worlds. It was a town.

But there wasn't that much strange about it, heh, except for some of the people.

[Talking ducks, a creature that looked like a cuddly plushie, a wizard with a long white beard and a family of dalmations.]

[Xanth's heart skips. For a moment, he has the hope that Kairi will mention the Elegante... but she does not. He feels foolish for ever having thought she would.

That moment where he could pretend things were normal has faded.]

Th-there was... a-a lot s--strange about the El--Ele--Elegante.

[His nervous touching of his elbow shifts up to his shoulder, which is still sore from the battle.]

Uh, h--how far i-is the i--infirm-mary n-now?

Elegante? Is that was the ship was-Oh.

[They'd reached the wall, and the little gate that would take them through to the thermal pools.]

It's not far. It's just through here and past the library, in the Great Keep.

O--Okay.

[Xanth is silent for a few more steps, but then he pipes up again:]

B-But... um. Y-Yeah. The sh-ship was th--the e-- M.S. E-El--Elegante.

[Such an innocent sounding name for such a threatening place. Xanth hopes Kairi will end her questions there, but he suspects they won't. Kairi is a curious girl, after all.]

So, did it travel between worlds?

[That it was a ship between worlds is pretty obvious. But Kairi wants to know if it actually stopped anywhere.]

Um.

[Xanth thoughtfully frowns down at the ground, cogs turning in his brain.]

I'm... I-I'm not... r-really sure. I--I think it did, b-but it was... h-hard to t--tell.

W-We... we only e-ever stopped t-twice, though. A-At-- at least w-when... I was th-there.

[That's strange. How could it be hard to tell? Kairi skips over a stone as they skirt about the edge of the thermal pools and make for the library, but her gaze is still on Xanth.]

What kinds of places did you visit?

[Maybe one of them was somewhere she would remember.]

T--Two beaches. One h-had a little town. Th--the residents w-were, um, s--stone pigs. Th-the other was...

[Xanth's voice falters.]

...d-deserted.

They both sound nice.

[Kairi misses his voice failing. She's focused on the path ahead of them. Once they round the corner of the library, they'll be able to see the entrance to the Keep. She glances back to check how Xanth's walking and it's then that she catches sight of his face.]

Weren't they?

[When Xanth realizes she's looking at him, he smiles. He's much better at this insincere smiles these days, but she can probably see through it. She could always read him like a book.]

Th--the first one w--was-- r-really nice.

[The deserted one, not so much, but he's not going to tell her about that.]

...Okay.

[The answer is oddly specific but she doesn't press it. If he doesn't want to talk about it then she won't make him.]

The infirmary's just through here.

[And she points across the small courtyard to the little side door in the Keep's ground floor.]

[Xanth is silently relieved that Kairi doesn't push him. He can't start blubbering in front of her again - and if he talks about the shore, he knows he will.

He looks to where she points, then nods quickly.]

O-Okay. I, uh, I can m-make it from-- from here, I, I-- I think.

Oh. [She stops short. She hadn't been expecting to be so abruptly dismissed.] Okay. Well, it's inside on the left.

[She takes a couple of steps back, but doesn't yet turn away.]

I'll see you around, okay?

[Xanth is sorry - truly, he is - but he needs time. He needs a moment alone, or even just with a stranger, to unwind.

Or to fall apart.

He looks to Kairi and feels a terrible sense of longing. Were she the girl he knew, he would want nothing more than for her to be by his side. She would provide comfort instead of causing a pain in Xanth's chest.

But he's sorry.]

Th-- th-thank you. I-I-- I app--preciate this. A--A lot.

I-I'll... see you.

[He tries for a smile, but it's so insincere, and he can't lie to Kairi like that.

And so he goes.]

You're welcome.

[She nods. It's probably more emphatic than it needs to be, but she is determined to patch things up with him... However weird it is.]

Okay. Well, bye.

[And she turns, setting off toward the barracks.]

[He raises a hand and waves, but he does not look back at Kairi. Already, he can feel a lump forming in his throat, but he holds it back and tamps it down. The door's not far. He can make it.

Thirty feet. Twenty feet. Ten.

Xanth yanks open the door and rushes inside. His eyes are blurred with tears and something in his chest is tight, like grief has grown hands and is crushing his heart.

So far, he'd found no one from the M.S. Elegante that he knew. This Lord Deior had deemed only Xanth fit to save - but why? He's little more than a broken boy. Ironhide would have been a better choice. Or Vie. Or Gideon. Or, hell, even Jinx was more capable than Xanth.

And now his family was gone. Kairi was gone.

They were all gone.

His shoulders shake with a broken sob and, covering his eyes, Xanth slumps against the door.]

[It's some minutes before Isabel happens upon Xanth there. She triest to enter through the side door behind him and there is no avoiding the collision.]

I beg your pardon. What are you doing there?

[In those minutes, Xanth cries. There is little else he can do.

But when the door pulls out from behind him, he can't help colliding with Isabel. Immediately he stumbles away, wiping his face and sniffling.]

S--Sorry, s-s--sorry--

[He backs up a step. He must look such a mess, covered in blood, tears, and seawater. He takes a breath and it's meant to be steadying, but the sharp gasp it comes out as is anything but.]

I-I, uh, I-- a-are you th-the--the d-doc--doctor?

No.

[She had been carrying a stack of fresh laundry and she sets it down now. She needn't ask if he needs the physician. He is crying a filthy.]

The physician will be returning shortly.

[She pulls a handkerchief from the pile of laundry and offers it to him.]

Dry your tears.

[Xanth takes the handkerchief from Isabel and wipes his face. It's something of an improvement, but that won't fix the rest of him.

He glances back and spies a cot just a few feet away. He takes those few steps back, then sits.]

Th-th-- thanks.

[Excuse him just a moment as he blows his nose.]

[She averts her eyes.]

How did you come to be so injured?

001. (v2) [audio + commentlog/open]

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