snowtop | 003. (v2) [video]

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003. (v2) [video]

[At first, there is no sound; there is only the image of Xanth's forearm. Lines of letters curl around his fingers, twist around his hand, and spiral onto his arm. The ink, jet black, is stark against his pale skin.]

Th-this-- it means I-I've been-- t-too quiet, right? I-It... it wants me to-- t-to say... s-something.

[It's been a while since he's checked in, made sure people knew he hadn't vanished, but there is nothing to say.

The feed remains set on Xanth's arm.]

I'm... o-okay. I'm s--still here.

A-Are... are you guys... o-okay, too?

[He heard that crack some days ago. No one has called for help on the journals, so no one was hurt in the expedition that came after, and no one had been hurt during the initial bang.

Or so he hopes.]

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Well, it isn't anyone's fault.

[Not really. Sometimes, things just happen.]

I wish it hadn't happened, any of it.

But, Riku's okay. And me. We wouldn't be, if you hadn't been there.

[She would have stayed with Riku until the zombies came for her. She would have stayed until he turned.]

Y-You... You'd've c-come back. E...E-Everyone does...

[This is not to say death is without meaning; Xanth died once, and gods, it rattled him. But Xanth is... bitter. He's bitter and he's tired and right now, he'd have a hard time seeing the bright side of the sun.]

[It takes a moment for the strike to sting. But sting it does, and Kairi withdraws. She folds her hands in her lap again.

She can't look at him.

Is he hurting so much that he'd say something like that?]

What do you mean?

[Maybe she was misunderstanding him.]

[The smile that finds her lips after his comment is more genuine, her eyes warm from his concern.]

I do need to rest, but whenever I close my eyes...

[Her brows knit into a frown and she shakes her head. She knows her death was necessary. They saved her from killing any of her friends directly.]

I...I can't sleep just yet.

[She hopes Xanth can understand. Slipping fluidly from the bed and gently out of Xanth's embrace, Aara holds a hand out to him.]

I can make soup and bread. Maybe a full stomach will help both of us. You look tired, too, Xanth.

[A slight smile.]

You should relax in the hotspring while I cook. I can bring you soup later.

[Xanth takes Aara's hand, though he puts very little weight on it, and stands.]

I-I don't... know h-how much I... c-can eat. I-- I had something, e-earlier, s-so...

[But he could certainly use a bath...]

Oh... Okay.

[She wonders what the hot spring might be like. Is there a section for males and females? Maybe she should let Xanth go now, and she could go later and see for herself. It sounded wonderful.]

If you get hungry, let me know? I can make you something.

[Throat constricting a little, Aara continues.]

Thank you for listening to what I had to say. I know it is not good news.

Th--thanks, Aara.

[A faint smile passes across his face and as Aara thanks him, it grows.]

H-Hey, don't... [he reaches out, touches her on the shoulder] ...d-don't worry about that, o...okay?

I-I mean, t--turning into a-- a dragon? Th-that's... pretty cool.

[She gives a bit of a hesitant smile at his thank you. It turns into a full-blown smile when he rests a hand on her shoulder and at his next words.]

It is nice...being able to fly.

[Her head tilts up to the ceiling as an expression of joy and freedom crosses her face, imagining the feeling of gliding across the sky on a cool and starry night.]

Y-Yeah. It... m-must be.

[He feels a twinge of envy. Here Aara was worried about those who would accept her because of her power, when he had been so worried for so long about just the opposite.

But neither of them could help their status. In the Keep, they were on equal ground.

Xanth retracts his hand, then glances back at the door.]

I... I-I guess I should... get going...

[The combination of Xanth's expression and tone seemed somewhat off to Aara. She tilted her head to one side in question.]

Everything okay?

[The withdrawal is the only clue Xanth needs to realize what a terrible thing that was to say. He bolts upright, gaze snapping to Kairi.]

I--I didn't-- I-I didn't mean--

[But what didn't he mean? People do come back; Kairi would have come back.

But Kairi would have died.]

... I-- I don't know.

[Once again, his posture sags, and he drops his gaze. He's not thinking is the problem, but can he even think, with all these thoughts clouding his mind?]

I-I'm, I'm sorry, I-I just-- I just wish... n-none of that e--ever happened...

Y-Yeah, I'm just... t-tired.

[Cue sheepish half-smile.]

A-And I... I-I need a-- a bath. P...Pretty b-badly.

[And a haircut, but he'll wait on that one.]

[Aara smiles, relaxing.]

If I can help, let me know?

[She giggles at that comment.]

Just take care of yourself, okay?

So do I!

[She stops. She hadn't meant to sound so forceful.]

I can't let it hurt me any more.

[Riku's alive. Riku remembers. She'll never let him see how losing him again had affected her. She has to be strong.]

I was so angry at you before, when I was in quarantine. I thought you killed him. I blamed you both for making me leave before... He died. I thought I was sick too and I didn't know what they'd do with me.

[If they'd kill her.]

But then I thought that would be okay, if I was sick, as long as you and Riku were okay.

[She had cried for days. Not sobbing, just unable to keep her eyes from weeping.]

I don't want to feel like that again.

[She glares at the floor. She knows she didn't misunderstand. His reaction was enough to tell her that. He had meant it.

But she didn't want to be angry at him.

And she didn't want him to be angry at himself.]

I--I will, [he says, to both of her comments.]

A-And, um... if... i-if you can't s--sleep, feel... f-free to visit. O-- Okay?

[But he hopes she doesn't, if only because that means she can rest.]

[He flinches when she snaps, and then curses himself for being so damned pathetic. So she was angry. She was hurt and betrayed and now, Xanth is pulling all those half-buried feelings to the surface again.

And though it's deeply layered in guilt, some small, dark place inside Xanth is satisfied by her upset.]

Y-You... You shouldn't... h-have to. I'm-- I-I'm glad you're o--okay, really, I, I--I am. I'm-- I'm sorry. I just...

[He's just babbling.

He sets his elbows on his knees, then takes a deep breath and rubs his face. His words muffled, he adds finally,]

I'm... j-just not as-- as s-strong as I sh...should be.

[She gets to her feet.]

Strength isn't everything.

[She holds out a hand. It's not really an offer to help him up. He doesn't need that. It's more an insistence that he follow her.]

Come on.

[Xanth looks up and blinks twice, confused.]

Wh-- what? Wh...Where?

[His posture straightens, but he doesn't stand just yet. Whatever Kairi is doing hasn't clicked, and he'd rather like to stay in his room...]

Heh, you need a bath.

[If he won't get up, she'll reach for his hand to pull him to his feet.]

[And that is what finally breaks Xanth's tension. He cracks a smile - a real one, lopsided though it is. (Then again, all his smiles are.)

He lets her take his hand, but he hauls himself to his feet on his own.]

Y...Yeah. I--I do. K-Kind of... badly.

Well, let's go.

[And without really giving him time to grab a change of clothes or a towel, she begins picking her way between the fallen oranges and dragging him towards the door.]

[Her eyes cloud over at his offer. She hasn't been able to sleep. Only for brief, interspersed moments, and she always awoke to nightmares. The best sleep she had gotten so far had been with Zhaneel.]

Thank you, Xanth.

You, too.

[She hadn't thought of that yet. A flash of worry appears on her face as she drops the next books in; again with no results. She squashes down her worry. It'll be fine.]

Ah, it's probably one of these. Don't worry.

[What would Myka do?]

If for some reason they're not it, not that they wouldn't be. Just if it isn't one of these we'll just have to look for more books.

W-Wait, wait-- I-I need-- c-clothes?

[Without letting Kairi go, Xanth pulls towards the closet. He has a clean set in there that he hasn't worn yet! No use getting back into dirty clothes!]

...w-well we-- we can't-- we can't drop a-all the books i-in the library i-in that-- that little bag...

[Or, technically, they could! It would just take days upon days upon days.]

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003. (v2) [video]

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[Commentlog] i am so sorry if these tags are ridiculous, i am right about to sleep

[Commentlog] DAW DON'T WORRY I LOVE THEM. Especially the ooc thread, lol!

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